Well Thursday evening was a very good evening.
Started badly, went up the road and into a cold biting easterly wind. Heart rate up to 150 right away, so started off pushing into 80% without a proper warm-up. This hopefully explains why every hill was such pain, especially the long climb out of Belmont over the moors to Rivington. Even though the wind was behind me I quickly pushed to 167, 95% MHR, so eased off down to 160 as I really should'nt be pushing things at this stage of my training, especially not in the cold. And it rained/sleeted coming off the moors, but was dry down by Blackrod. Which is nice.
Spoilt any good my session did me by going to the bar at 11.30 and getting through 1/2 bottle of red and 6 275ml bottles of Smirnoff Ice.
And today is Friday.

Yesterday evening did'nt go to plan, but the best laid plans of mice and men gang aft aglea.
Gang aft aglea ? What the fuck does that mean ? Am I a man or a mouse to make these plans that gang aft wherever they gang aft to.
Probably mis-spelt aglea, may well be aglei. Not too well up on 18th century scots.
But we are not controllers of our own destiny, we are touched by other lives, we touch other lives.
However much I like to think that I can make decisions and plan my life, random events impinge on me.
Some would say that is god, or fate, or karma, but there is no great plan, apart from the basic need to reproduce.
So what is driving humanity along is our need to contuinue the species.
Not god, not some great cosmic plan, its just that a collection of organic molecules began to replicate, and thats where we came from.
Which is no consolation when shit happens, as it so often does.
So I was going out for a meal, bought a present and wrapping paper, and was looking forward to an evening out.
But it was not to be.
Woke up at 06:15 shivering and not feeling too good. Lay in bed a while but felt no better. Eventually warmed up in the shower, but I don't feel
too bright. Maybe I'm coming down with a cold, hope not, with only 9 days until my 1st race I need training, training and more training.

I'd rather have long nights spent drinking wine and vodka, but no.

Now it is the evening, twilight, dusk, then sunset. Now darkness spreads itself across the sky like a very big black thing interspersed with pinpricks
of light that may be holes in the sky where the light gets in, or twinkly twinkly little stars.
Twinkle twinkle little bat,
how I wonder where you're at.
Ah ha ! Wolsley had a supply of fresh water ! Wolsley had the fresh water supply built, it was'nt Henry Tudor !
Sic gloriat mundi.

Bike racing; hoc opus, hic labor est.

Training hurts.
So, why do I put myself through the mangle just to be able to ride races where I will have to endure pain and suffering for some intangible reason ?
Am I going to be a big bike racing star and go to the tour de France ? No I am riding minor little local races with prizes of maybe 50 quid if I'm really lucky, and club races with no prizes, so I'm not in it for the money. Fame ? A mention in a local newspaper is not fame.
Is this my mid-life crisis ? I am starting to look at my life and ask questions, why do I do this ? Why do I do that ?
Why does my life seem so crap to me, but maybe an outsider looking at me would say my life has evrything;
a comfortable income, nice car, family, children doing well at school and college, a good career. But it sucks ! The daily grind is becoming insufferable,
and I am menaced by giant lobsters, filling me full of fear and dread.

Thought for the day;
When it hurts, try harder.

Horrorscope for Wednesday 13 March 2002:
Pisces; Bats will become entangled in your hair and you will sink up to your knees in mud.
Leo; You will not win the lottery, ever.
Cancer; Beware of gloss paint.
Saggitarius; You should dye your hair blond, wear a helmet with horns and sail around the north coasts of Europe attacking villages and carry
your booty to a cold and lonely fjiord in Northern Norway.

1st edit of template seems OK, at least not evrything in my life is shitty, now to get that HTML book into play.
Wow, so I was able to edit the blog template, this hardly raises my life from drudgery to hope, from misery and doubts to joy, from a vale of tears to a haven of fun.
No, it just means I can go tap-tap-tappity tap on a computer keyboard without hitting too many wrong keys.
Problems remain, life sucks, but the alternative does'nt bear thinking about.
Just have to come to terms with the suckiness of life, at the moment, in the past, and for who knows how long (just try and say that after 2 bottles of a good red).

Thought(s) for the day;
Using big long words is'nt smart or clever.
Understanding what big long words mean is smart and clever, but no-one likes a smart-arse.
The best shape for bike wheels is round. This is from personal experience.
As is the smart-arse bit.
00:35 is not the best time to have a meaningful conversation, especially if I am just wakened by the 'phone after 1 1/2 hours of deep sleep.
I could not possibly commit myself to anything I said in a conversation at 00:35 on a cold Tuesday morning.

Uncertainty, uncertainty & uncertainty.
My whole life is uncertainty,
Personal life,
Sport and work.
The whole thing is uncertain, riven with doubts, fear and self-doubt.