Wednesday.
After Hazel answered my call 2 weeks ago with 'Hi darling' I flet there was nothing left. Thats her stock reply to all and sundry that call her mobile. I texted her yesterday to ask her to get someone to tell me how she is in hospital, and got a reply saying 'why haven't you been in touch I have been worried about you'. Yeah right. I'm only a 'phone call away if she was that worried.
Talked on msn and we are friendly enough, left things open for the future.

Anyhoo. Now thats all over and done with, or not as the case may be, things at home have started looking up. Relations with Mrs. have improved. If only that had happened in the early 1990s then all this sorry saga of alcohol, late nights, chasing women and general mis-behaviour may never have happened.
Or would it ? The end result of my years of over-indulgence has left me clinically depressed and needing the services of powerful anti-depressants and a shrink.
Yesterday I had my flight tickets bought for a month in Athens, virtually the whole of June ! Yippee !

I spent 330 quid from the end of 2002 to early 2004 on - coaching.
Apart from riding well on the track, my overall fitness declined ! In retrospect I expected too much from it. I imagined that the discipline of following a schedule would make me work harder, and that monitoring my heart rate and weight and feelings would allow me to build on what I did. Well, I think it was all bollox. The regime I followed was the same as another guy my coach set a training plan for, for instance in the winter of 2003-2004 I was put on less turbo and regular weights. This was because, so I was told, it would improve my strength for the track. Well, the other chap was given almost the same schedule and he was told the weights were to improve his strength in long races. Hmm.
Did the weights of the winter of 2003/2004 improve me ? No I don't think so, considering how rubbish my standing start 500M TT was in the Div. Champs.
So, an expensive lesson in what not to waste my money on. I should have known it, I never had a coach in the past. Looking at some of my blogs from 2002 it looked as if I hoped the coaching would improve me by leaps and bounds. Maybe my head was going funny even then, before all the truama I subsequently went through.
Live and learn. I've been doing a lot of that this past year or so. Is all the truama with Hazel because I wouldn't commit to leaving home ?

Oh, and spent a lot of time recording CDs onto the PC, then transferring them onto my Archos MP3 player. Pust most of my collection on, of a couple of hundred CDs. And put quite a few pics on, and its only just less than 1/3 full. 20 Gb is a lot !

Monday.
Weekends gone. Where ? What did I do ?
Well, apart from not getting mortal on wine, not a great deal. Trimmed the front lawn, repaired the strimmer, watched Eurovision, oh blimey, I'm getting sadder. Needed wine for that, I won't watch it again now I'm sober, I realised what total trash it is !
I have to motivate myself to ride my bike or else I will end up wasting my life away. Didn't text or call, or recieve any texts from her. Hmmm.
Maybe this evening I might do a couple or three miles. If it is dry, and warm. Not vey likely then. This time in 2002 I was doing 100+ miles a week. Like w/c 27 May 2002 I did 190.