Sent a text yesterday evening saying lets meet tomorrow evening at that quiet little pub in Sharston. Got a reply saying I'm at art class. - What ? Do art classes not finish until after the pubs shut ?
Pity really. She won't ever see me again. Im on holiday next week, then in Dartford then.... boss comes along and says there is work in Switzerland.
So as far as I know, from 8th November, I'll be in Switzerland every week until Christmas. Excellent. Shame about the weight training, but I hope it will take the pressure off me with Hazel, and i can finally forget her. In spite of the nice texts she sent today, only because I sent her a rose in a moment of idiocy.
Anyhoo. Car fucked. Into get some minor thing done yesterday, called to say couldn't fix it. They still got it, so I'm driving a little Honda Jazz.
And I'm fucking well driving it to Manchester tonight, to stay at a Travelodge and have some fun. Which should also help wash that woman out my mind.

Fuckbottles.

And the word of today, this week, this year;

FUCKBOTTLES

Feel washed out, useless and pointless today.
Fancy getting involved with that woman the way I did, now I can't get her out of my head.
What an absolutelute useless fucking wanky tosser I have been, am and always will be.
I must make an effort to clear her out of my head and my life. Lets face it, its not going to go anywhere now. So just delete all the emails, remove her from your mobiles and msn.
I think I'll chase after those women contacting me from sms.ac ! Nice looking one sent me her details, replied to her, so lets wait and see.
I don't want any commitment or a relationship, not again. Once bitten, twice shy.

This is the first year I won't have raced a hillclimb. Not at all sorry about that !

Oh last week, Thursday ? Dreamt about her.
Which isn't quite that significant as I dreamt about the gym last night !
How weird is that ? Am I on the turn ? Is it the guy with the short shorts ?

Don't feel so depressed today.
Why ?
Received a text saying 'I got bad stomach so not been in touch'.
Well, she was on msn yesterday, no reply to my self-pitying email.
Who cares, not me anymore.

Monday. Depressed. Drank too much over the weekend, annoyed everybody at home and sent a stupid email to Hazel.
Fuck everything.