"You twisted my melon man" !
Which is what happened to parts of my body during something given the happy title of 'active stretching' after a training session with the club back in the dark days of February.
Active stretching, the victim lies on his back, the torturer pull a leg up straight and pushes it towards the victims chest and the victim pushes against the stretch, relax, and repeat. Continue repeating until madness sets in, then repeat for leg number 2.
Next the victim lies on his stomach, a leg is bent at the knee and the victim pushes against the torturer. Then relax and continue. There must be some reason for this, the coach did say but the whole point escapes me. It isn't painful, but certainly feels horrible.
I suppose it fits in with the 'no pain no gain' theory. As in the turbo session we did yesterday evening. Warm up, 3 minutes 100 rpm 53x18, 3 in 53x17, 3 in 53x16, 3 in 53x15 and 3 in 53x14. 2 minutes steady, 15 seconds flat-out sprint, 45 secs easy, 30 secs sprint, 30 easy, 45 sprint, 15 easy 60 secs sprint, 1 minute easy, 1 min sprint, 15 easy, 45 sprint, 30 easy, 30 sprint, 45 easy, 15 sprint, all in 53x14. This is 'ladder sprints' so says our coach. OK it hurt, then we did 1 min of sit-ups, 1 min crunches, 1 min oblique curls, 1 min dorsal raise, 1 min rest, 1 min going back over the stupid things we just did. Then the same turbo stuff, again, for goodness sake. I was knackered.
Fun ? mid-life crisis ? If it is a mid-life crisis I really should just buy a big motorbike (I've been tempted) and have an affair (ooh er, as if). Not slog myself on the bike.