Tuesday, August 13, 2002

Here is something funny; I get up, drink some mineral water, have fruit and dry toast and coffee for breakfast. A couple of glasses of water and maybe a coffee for 'elevenses. Dinner is usually baked potatoe and salad, a bread roll & glass of water, sometimes some chicken. I have stopped drinking coffee in the afternoon as I hear it can interfere with sleep. Tea is often some low fat cheese spread on crackers, with a couple of tomatoes, yoghurt and water. Mmm, healthy. Then I go to the bar, drink a bottle of wine, eat crisps and then sit late talking and drinking vodka until the early hours. The next morning feeling groggy I will drink some red bull, and often eat a cheeseburger at lunchtime. Well, all that 'healthy' eating, yoga & exercise and I fuck up my body like that. How much damge am I doing to myself ? With a family full of alcoholics I am maybe treading in the well-worn footsteps of Uncles Eddy, Jimmy, Frank (amazingly still alive, in spite of several lengthy spells in hospital and almost having both legs amputated), George. I could go on. An aunt married a Canadian alcoholic that amssed a small fortune by burning his house down, collecting the insurance money, moving to another state and repeating the process. His regime of incendiary-related income ended when he got so drunk on home-made hooch he fell down his cellar stairs and broke his neck. Unless, of course, my aunt pushed him. My grannie ran the illegal whisky production in the NE of Scotland during the 1940s. And with thousands of thirsty troops billeted in the wasteland that was and still is Caithness she had a ready market. Especially as Wick was a dry town, with only one or two hotels selling alcohol. My uncles had a few stills (bothys) dotted about the peat bogs. I don't know how much money these took in, but they lived in a considerable house, with 8 bedrooms, and the downstairs bit divided into the main house on the left with the hall, front room and kitchen. I heard there were 100 people in the front room and kitchen on many New Years celebrations. I have seen a couple of photos and I could well believe it. Then the right hand side was a separate house, with 3 rooms where uncle Rex & Betty & 2 daughters and son lived. I bet that was a squeeze. The house was full of valuable old stuff, arab guns, swords, flintlock guns, shotguns, paintings. All of this (except the clock which hangs in my fathers house and the solid silver teapot on fake silver campfire which uncle Rex got) was sold by uncle Frank for drink. The house just fell apart when he wenty off on his expeditions to work on the West coast and live in a caravan in the hills somewhere, where I think he went to drink himself to death. Hopefully shamed by his treatment of my granny. So sometime in the early 90s the house got rennovated and sold. I don't know how much it sold for, or who got the money but hope it wasn't Frank. I am not keen on a lot of the people up there, as none of them could be arsed to attend Mums' funeral. So I ahave decided to having nothing to do with any of them.
So, the lesson is, don't stay late in the bar. That should really say, don't drink alcohol at all, you stupid fucker. Its not staying late in bars, its knocking back vast quantities of booze that is damaging.
Last night I got to the hotel (Jarvis, fed up with the Swallowfield) Went out and did a steady 28 miles, over Winter Hill to Belmont, through Brinscall, stopped to eat some food and admire the view North, could see the top of Ingleborough peeping over the intervening hills, and the profile of Pen-y-Gent. These are both about 2300' high, 740M. This isn't very big, just a big hill really, but they looked massive and magnificent, they are about 40 miles off.
White Coppice, over the nasty steep hill of Aglezarke. There I stopped to admire the view, I could see the Welsh Mountains (Glyders) which are something like 50 miles off; a terrific view. (No, maybe more than SIXTY miles off !)Very clear air this evening. I went out to buy healthy food from Asda (Oatcakes, Primula cheese/chives spread, green beans, fizzy mineral water & melon slices) then drove over Winter Hill, stopped and looked at the view, dusk with many twinkling lights stretching West to the Fylde Coast, South West to the edge of North Wales. Then early to bed, in spite of an earlier decision to 1. Go and eat a bacon cheeseburger in the bar, 2. drink some beer. Which as good as point 2 wouldn't be some beer, it would be lots of beer, then as I feel bloated with beer I might go and make myself sick and/or continue with Smirnoff Ices or Vodka & red bulls. I sent a mssg to H. then got a reply saying tomorrow (Tue) would be good. So this evening I may be on a bender, yet again.

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