Todays horoscopes.

Aries: Large bats will menace you, beware of sloping surfaces.
Leo: Lucky Cheese; Double Gloucester, lucky meat; ham.
Sagittarius: Be careful when handling iron filings.
Taurus: Lucky cheese; Edam, but remove the rind.
Virgo: Lucky cheese; Parmesan. Nothing else is lucky, you will be hit by a meteor.
Capricorn: Fear of small rodents will manifest itself slowly, from the feet upwards.

Thats enough astrology for now.