Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Tuesday. Emotionally drained.
Monday off to Dartford, noticed flights from Mexico were delayed. Drank too much.
Tuesday morning posted all the pics back, of her & of us together in Manchester one night.
Wednesday had a text midday saying I'm back, then later a text saying why are you doing this ? Phoned in the evening but no reply.
Called her midday Thursday, hopeful talk. Called again Thursday evening, no replies.
Tried again Friday morning, no replies. Called on the office phone, replied but cut me off.
Had a text then saying cant be lovers anymore, need my own life. I was upset, left customer early drove up M1, over to Morridge, a nice peaceful scene. Pushed the bracelet through her letterbox, awful drive home down M6.
Text midday Saturday saying don't be stupid, lets be friends. That is fucking crap.
Text some nonsene after 2 bottles of red on Saturday night.
Text midday Monday asking if I'm alright, saying she is upset about me, and hurting too.
Replied saying I'm drained. Fuck it all, I will have to forget the evil conniving bitch and get my life back to some sort of normality. I will have to do something to or think of something to be doing to take my mind off all this. Tried reading some of my Gideon Bible over the weekend, no help there. It will have to come from within me, I used to be stronger, I have become soft and weak willed, probably her influence, al;ways seeking the easy way out, looking for something for nothing, a sort of Manchester version of trailer trash really.
Now I can get back to worrying about giant lobsters and the threat they pose.

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