Took the fruit of my loins to see 'Lord of the Rings' recently. Well, what an eye-opener ! The hobbits live in Telly-tubby land !
Gandalfs hat ! Ha ha ha ha, I spent the whole film hoping some monster would cut the stupid top of it.
So the film finished with Gandalf and his stupiud hat consigned to the abyss, and the brave Mondeo the hobbit off to Mordor.
Or Morrrrrdorrrr as the mighty Gandalf says it.

How to destroy really bad monsters that are made of fire;
1. Lure them onto a narrow bridge.
2. Make them overbalance,
and hey presto ! They fall into the abyss (which it originally came out of when the stupid hobbit threw a stone into the well ?)
Snide remarks aside, it was a good film, a rip-roaring tide of special effects and a roller-coaster of emotion, with little
hobbits and hairy feet a go-go.

Every time I see you falling I get down on my knees and pray,
I'm waiting for that final moment you see the words that I can say.
Oh I've never met anyone quite like you before!